fitness update

my fitness rebirth continues to go well! i really rock it during the week, getting some form of exercise in daily. here is what this week looks like:

monday: 30 min walk, 40 minute exercise dvd
tuesday: 30 min walk, 2 mile outdoor run
wednesday: 30 min walk, 30 min elliptical, 30 min dvd
thursday: 30 min walk, 2 mile outdoor run
friday: 30 min walk, 30 min elliptical
saturday: 2.5 mile outdoor run
sunday: easter pigging out! (well, i'll try not to eat TOO much.)

i continue to watch calories very carefully during the week too. it's definitely not fun, but the more i exercise the more i crave the healthy stuff, so that helps. i am finally starting to see some results on the scale, so that helps with motivation too! i still have quite a way to go until i reach my ultimate goal, but i think i can get there!

my house of cards

i'm having some definite issues with work-life-school balance lately. the days are filled and flying by.

work
school
kids
housework
boyfriend
working out
family

there are times i feel so strong, and like i can handle anything. and there are other times that i feel like i am a delicate house of cards, just blow and i will tumble to the ground. sometimes i feel like i have bitten off more than i can chew, single parenting and full time work along with school and everything else is tough. i have no social life to speak of. (friends? what friends?) my house needs a serious once-over and reorganization. the scrapbooks and materials i bought for the kids have not seen the light of day in a year. i need to get spring/summer clothing out and winter clothing packed away.

while there is a lot i am getting done, there is also so much more that i'm not.

i am learning that while i can do a lot, i can't do it all. and really i hate that i can't do it all. it drives my inner overachiever crazy. and it think it drives the bf even crazier.

antisocial tendencies

back in high school, i was all about partying. i was a joker in class, i could be pretty loud and obnoxious at times. i loved being around a crowd of people and lived for parties on the weekends.

in college, this tendency to party waned somewhat, but being part of group activities on the weekends was still a pretty regular part of life. i drank less than most of my friends, but still took part in their shenanigans.

these days, i am reluctant to attend group gatherings. i hate committing to any kind of outing. what usually sounds the best to me is spending time with family or hanging out alone with the bf. no pressure, just pure relaxation and the chance to be nothing but myself. the bf tries to push me to do more things, but honestly i am happy to be somewhat antisocial. but...

when an event comes up and i actually get myself to go, i nearly always have fun. like the outing with my work group a couple of weeks ago. i dragged my feet about going and yet ended up having a blast! or the shower i went to this weekend. i was reluctant to leave the kids and the bf but ended up having a great time laughing with the girls and ooohhhing and aaahhhhing over adorable baby stuff.

note to self: just try it, you'll like it!

a new challenge

i bought these over my lunch hour today:
Asics Kayano 15




i am thinking i might use them to do this:

Rock 'n' Roll Las Vegas Marathon/Half Marathon, December 6th 2009


teacher sis and her friend are planning to go. this would be my first marathon experience...i would probably go for the half. makes me nervous thinking about it; what a goal! but if little sis can do it, i can too, right?

random updates

The bf’s ex wife got engaged over New Years. They are planning for a February 14th wedding. In 2009! Yep. Planning a wedding in less than two months just to do it on the sappiest of sappy days of the year. Brilliant.

The impending marriage of the bf’s ex puts a bit of a damper on my “I won’t marry you until your ex is married” excuse. Dang.

School starts again next week. I have thoroughly enjoyed the time off and have taken advantage of it by reading several “just for fun” books. I will miss reading books for fun. Because, Economics? Not so much fun.

I have officially succumbed to the cultural “phenomenon” that is “Twilight”. One of my gifts from the bf for Christmas was the first book in the series. And then he bought me the second. I am now partway through the third book…and the fourth is awaiting me on the bookshelf. It hurts me to admit this.

The bf is on his very first “big” trip for work. He is in Atlanta this week. When I am traveling away from home without him, I actually sleep very well. When I am at home alone without him, apparently not so much. I did not get to sleep easily last night nor did I sleep well once I finally did drift off into the land of slumber.

I’m still fairly certain layoffs are coming tomorrow. There have been many, many signs (as well as the usual rumors). It’s hard to be productive today and tomorrow will be worse, not knowing exactly what is coming. I would prefer that they rip the band-aid off quickly, but I have a feeling it will be a long, drawn out afternoon of paranoia.

My New Year’s resolution to get healthy is off to a bit of a stumbling start. Lack of sleep is making a workout seem like an unbearable idea. Right now all I can think of is sleep. I am eating okay but not great. I have a feeling this will be a slow process…

change is near

Last night, I cried the first tears I have ever cried over politics. (And I’m still a little emotional even writing about this.) They were tears of joy and tears of hope. Tears celebrating the fact that we have finally overcome party lines, race and religion and brought together people from all walks of life to vote with hope rather than with fear. Tears of joy over the fact that I finally feel we have a shot at turning things around for our children and grandchildren, handing down to them a country we can be proud of. This election was historical not because Mr. Obama is black, but because of his message of hope. We may not agree with everything he does in the next four years but I trust that he has in mind the best interests of each and every one of us.

I have seen Facebook statuses in the last 12 hours from conservative Christians implying the end of the world is near. What? The end of the world is near because we elected a black president? The end of the world is near because we elected a sincere and extremely intelligent man to lead our country? How can it be the end of the world when the entire world is celebrating with us? Tell me how this makes sense?

I grew up Christian…both Methodist and Lutheran at different points in my life. But in the last several years I have been extremely disillusioned by the church. I do believe in a higher power. And to me that higher power is about love and acceptance of all peoples and religions. I have a hard time with right-wing Christians who feel their way is the only way and the rest of us are damned. I cringe at bible verses telling us we are evil. And if anyone knows of a Christian church where they don’t try to make you FEAR God but LOVE God please let me know. Because I haven’t found one yet. Oh and P.S.: Barack Obama is a CHRISTIAN, in case you haven’t heard.

Finally, I am not ignorant for voting for Mr. Obama, and I resent those of you who think I am. I did not only vote with my heart but with my head as well. I am very well educated, so please don’t insult my intelligence by insinuating I don’t know what I am doing by supporting Barack Obama. Because you know what? I am proud that I voted out of hope and not out of fear. And I will be proud to call Mr. Obama PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA in January. I can say I am truly looking forward to the next four years. It’s going to be a hell of a ride, but also a good one.

p.s.
i have every right to express my views, political or otherwise on MY BLOG. if you don't like my views, please don't read MY BLOG. thank you.

p.p.s.
i realize my "guest" blogger was a little over the top a few days ago. for the record, i am christian (though a rather disillusioned one). and the person who wrote the guest blog has had people at work picking at him for his views and he finally decided to fight back. it was not a personal attack on anyone and if you read it as such, i am sorry.

woooooooooohooooooo!

...brown chicken brown cow...brown chicken brown cow...

(it's a VERY rare night of durrrrnkeeedddnesss.) tee hee!

caution: bragging ahead

my average for the first five of my mba assignments: 100%!!!!!!!!

class average for the first five mba assignments: 88%!!!!!!!!!

yahoo me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

surived the second week!

well, i survived the second week of school! i finally received my grade for my first paper, and I got 100%! I submitted my second paper tonight and we are moving into week three! I think I am probably spending way too much time on my papers right now, they are only 1-2 pages but I think I have put in about 7-9 hours on each one. Eeek! I suppose that will change as I get used to the process. Then again, I've always been a crazy perfectionist when it comes to my writing. The editing and revising process takes me FOREVER! At any rate, even though this is hard work I am learning new things and enjoying myself in the process. I think it's driving the BF a bit crazy not to have as much of my attention, but hopefully he gets used to that as well!

hope all of you mothers had a very happy mother's day!

abc's and 123's

i got an A (100%!) on my first assignment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

highlights

1st week of school is under my belt, including my 1st paper. yay!

getting new "Giant" bike as a mother's day present from the bf. should be ready this week!

managed to exercise daily last week and promptly end my streak over the weekend. ugh.

plan to start up again tonight. really, i do...

am enjoying a cinco de mayo themed food day at work today. yum!

currently listening to and loving the new tristan prettyman cd.

visited the living green expo at the mn state fairgrounds this weekend. bought two organic cotton baby blankets for gifts. awesome!

impatiently waiting for my surplus check. plan to use it to pay bills though that is not the original intended use. (it will take a lot more than $900 to stimulate me to spend more than what i owe on my credit cards.)

finally have some gorgeous weather, going out for a nice brisk walk with co-workers this afternoon.

currently obsessed with plants, though i have a brown thumb, zero plants in my house and one dying one at work. plan to go shopping for a little window herb garden and another plant or two for my desk. green things make me happy.

eeeek!

school starts today. i am nervous.

ouch.

i had big plans for tonight after work:

go home, let out dog.
grocery shopping.
hair cut.
laundry.
work out.

all that came to a screeching halt when my car door decided to bite me in the head when i got out to check the mail:



it might now look so bad here, but the damn thing was the size of half a golf ball:


so i rigged up this handy system so i can walk around the house without holding an ice pack to my head:


even so, i'm afraid this is going to be the permanent result of my injury:

countdown

today marks one week until i begin working on my mba.  i've already read the first chapter of my first course book because, well...i'm crazy like that.  

thank you, mr. marlboro man, thank you.

i'm not sure what it is.  is it aging?  karma?  my past smoking habit?  God's idea of a little joke? what the H am i talking about? well, just you let me explain...

my lungs hiss.  i first noticed this several months ago when i was doing a particular new exercise video.  it basically required "standing" sit ups.  you put your hands behind your head and bend from side to side.  it was then that i first heard the hissing sound leaking out of my mouth.  it wasn't so much a wheezing sound as an odd hiss.  further into the video i got, i realized that anything requiring me to bend from side to side produced the same odd sound. that's about all it was though, an odd sound.  i didn't really feel any different, but it did freak me out.  i eventually got out of the exercise habit because of a little thing called winter.  there was no hissing.

i started doing my regular strength training video again a couple of weeks ago.  there are a few moves that are creating that same hissing sound.  this never used to happen during this exercise.  the video doesn't require a lot of aerobic activity, but anything working my chest makes that horrible sound.

a couple of days ago i started throwing in a cardio workout in addition to the strength training. the harder i work the more i am hearing "the sound".  my lungs seem like they burn more than usual, but i'm not sure if that's because of something medical or just because i am out of shape from the long winter.  i can take deep breaths and not hear it at all.  it's just particular exercise moves that make it happen.

my question is, wtf is this?  have i developed asthma in my old age?  it doesn't seem like asthma.  i mean, i'm definitely not having an "attack" like i've seen and heard from asthmatic people i know.  do i have effing emphysema due to my past smoking habit?  (i quit over two years ago but smoked from age 17 to age 29.  eek.)  still, seems like i'm too young for that yet.  

i'm baffled.  i suppose i should haul my butt in to the doctor.  but  i also have this weird thing about not wanting to go in until my weight is down a few more pounds.  i am currently 10 pounds away from my ideal and about 5 from my "i can deal with it" weight.  this may not seem like much but it means some of my pants don't fit.  and it will be devastating to see that number on the doctor's scale.  makes is more official, or something.  i'm an extra freak about it ever since i lost the 30ish pounds three years ago.

my question is, has anyone experienced anything like this?  does anyone have asthma?  know anyone who has experienced anything like this?  i'm just not ready for the doctor quite yet...

i'm in!!!

well, it's official.  i was accepted into the mba program!  lots to do before school starts in LESS THAN TWO WEEKS!  i am nervous, excited, worried...and just generally not quite sure what to expect. 

it's going to be interesting trying to keep up with school along with working full time and being a single parent.  i know i can do it, but i bet the people around me are going to have to hear a bit of grumbling now and then.  ;-P

i guess i just need to keep my eye on the end result, right?  two and a half years from now i will have a master's degree and a giant step closer to my career goals!

random monday thoughts

1. my child is in the local paper today: http://www.mankatofreepress.com/local/local_story_105010351.html
(bottom picture)

2. i am not ready for the work week. i want to be home laying in bed with my new macbook.

3. it's freezing at my desk.

4. i want some chocolate.

5. i am impatient to hear back from the college i am hoping to get in to for my mba. school starts in 14 days. i need to KNOW!

6. i don't want my new pc with vista at work. i'd gladly take back my slow mac from TOG!

7. i was pretty crabby saturday night, sorry to all who witnessed it.

8. only 7 hours and 45 minutes till quitting time...

mba

so, i have decided i am getting my mba. which means i'm pretty much giving up a social life for, oh...the next two and a half years or so. but, the good thing is that i have definitely found my niche career-wise. i have found what excites and motivates me. it's marketing, product management specifically. i love love love it. i have gained a lot of marketing experience over the last few years, and this "new" job is exactly what i've been looking for. but in today's economy, i want to insure that i remain "employable".  and i worry that my bachelor's in social work just isn't going to cut it, not even with my experience. so, i applied to some schools. schools that have reputable online programs. schools that are "brick and mortar" based that happen to have an online mba program. schools where i don't have to list "online degree" on my resume. it doesn't look easy. the admissions process is a pain. but i'm thinking it all might just be worth it. 

also, since i'll be going to school online, i just HAD to purchase this:



and then of course i also needed this:



ahhh...come to me my sweet little mac laptop, i am anxiously awaiting your arrival. ; )

stayin alive!

yes, i'm alive. day two of the new job. it's going okay so far, but i have to admit i was a bit worried when i spent the first three hours of day one cleaning my new desk/cube area. ugh. no one would ever accuse me of being a clean freak, but even by my standards it was pretty disgusting! i spent an hour on the keyboard alone! a bit disheartening, but the people are really nice, at least. 

i definitely do miss the more plush accommodations of my prior office. the big cushy chair, the window view, the free soda, my mac computer....but none of that was the same anyway since my favorite co-worker left....

sucker!

i spent a weekend at my mom's two weeks ago. my kiddos and i went there to take a break and be pampered. it was refreshing, and it worked.

at home i very, very rarely watch tv. i just have no desire to do it. but that weekend at my mom's i spent an awful lot of time in front of the good old boob tube. one night i sat up in the living room alone till at least 1:30 am. i changed channels a few times and settled on an interesting looking infomercial. i know, i know, that's kind of an oxymoron. infomercial and interesting don't generally go hand it hand. but i started watching this one and was hooked.

it was for some kind of magic makeup! oooo...look at that girl with the horrible complexion! oh wow, look how easy it is to transform her face from cruddy complexion to model perfect! that's amazing! and look at the stars endorsing it. it must be good stuff, right? i was suckered in. it looked soooooo easy! and i'd love an easy way to hide those red rosacea areas on my cheeks. and these dark circles under my eyes from stress. i would love to get rid of those. seriously, that looks easy. i can DO that. and look, they even did makeovers at my beloved mall of america. and minnesotan's don't lie, right? and the best part? it could all be mine for the low, low price of just $29.95!!!

so today i got my cute little pink box and felt that flutter of excitement i always feel when i get a package in the mail. i couldn't wait to rip into the package. i opened the pretty little box and saw it's pretty little pink insides. and there was the makeup. tiny little containers beautifully presented in a white mesh bag. and then i saw the two instruction booklets and the instructional dvd. wtf? i thought this was supposed to be eeeeeeasssy. still convinced i could make this work, i trudged into the bathroom to begin my own amazing transformation. i wish i could get this across to you in pictures. the result was less than flattering. my wrinkles stand out more than ever. in fact, i found some i hadn't even noticed before. the makeup is totally cakey, the kind i snicker about when i see it on others. (did she put that on with a putty knife, or what?) and my dark undereye circles? i swear they look worse. now they are both dark AND baggy. i look like a haggard streetwalker.

so the moral of the story is...there is a reason we really shouldn't buy things from infomercials. and dummies like me are proof. ; )