california dreamin'...(or maybe hawaiian dreamin'?)

cinco de mayo from a 7 year old's perspective

last night my kids were talking about cinco de mayo at the dinner table. i listened in as my 7 year old described the holiday to her younger brother. pretty cute and not too far off, either!

"cinco de mayo is celebrated in mexico because the mexicans fought the french. i think it was because the french said that mexico owed them some money. and the french were busy building the statue of liberty. and then the mexicans and the french fought a battle in mexico because the french wanted money. and the mexicans won. so that is why they celebrate cinco de mayo."

not too shabby! the statue of liberty part was funny, and it was pretty cute listening to her lecturing tone while she was explaining this to her brother. : )

toothless wonder!

my baby boy lost his two front teeth yesterday! they were both loose, but not quite ready to come out...until the boys started wrestling around yesterday afternoon and one of them rolled over poor kolby's head! he came upstairs bleeding and crying with teeth even more loose than they were before. it took some work on the part of the bf and some bravery on the part of my poor boy, but both teeth came out. after the initial shock, my boy was so proud of those two teeth!









kolby was even more excited this morning when he looked under his pillow and found a prize from the tooth fairy. he woke me up this morning by standing in front of me holding his loot. it's so fun to see the kids get so excited!

every other weekend

it's not very often that i actually have to watch the kids leave for their weekends with their dad. usually he picks them up directly from school on fridays, which is convenient for me and also avoids emotional responses on my part.

in the early days of our divorce, i had a really hard time dropping the kids off at daycare on his fridays, knowing that i wouldn't be seeing them again until sunday night. they were so little then, just 2 and 4. and i hated the thought of not seeing them for two days.

these days it's gotten a little easier. the kids are 5 and 7, and though of course i love them just as much as ever, and there are times when i am frankly quite READY to have a little break from them. sometimes i swear they are purposely extra bratty as their "dad weekends" approach. like it's their way of making it easier on me.

but, this time around, i've been home with sick little kolby for two days. he is doing better this afternoon, and his dad stopped here to pick him up a few minutes ago for their weekend together. and just as soon as they walked out the door the waterworks began! i am sitting here feeling sad and lonely and already missing my boy. :(

so yeah, the one "perk" of divorce is sometimes the worst part. being without the kids for an entire weekend. i guess i should feel lucky that their dad has no real interest in anything beyond every other weekend. it would kill me not to see them for a week at a time, like some parents do, trading out every other week. because as much as they can be a big pain in my tush, there is no way i could live without them for that long!

*sob*

aged

last night on the drive home the kids were chattering as usual. for some reason, kyleigh asked me if I had a webkinz (stuffed toy with an internet component, for those who aren't familiar with it) when i was little. i told her no, we didn't even have the internet when i was her age. in great disbelief she replied, WHOA! she then asked me if we had nintendo ds when i was little, to which i also replied no. she then started on a whole list items, which made me realize two things.

1) Life sure has changed a lot since i was younger.
2) Yep, it's official. I am OLD!

happy holidays!

leg

so i ended up canceling the doctor's appointment for kolby on friday and scheduled an appointment with a chiropracter instead. we waited for about 45 minutes to be told this:

1. she would not do an adjustment because she didn't want to flare anything up.
2. if kolby got any worse over the weekend, we were to take him to the emergency room.
3. if kolby developed a fever over the weekend, we were to take him to the emergency room.
4. she wanted him to see a medical doctor and get x-rays.
5. she wouldn't charge us for the visit. (thank GOD.)

my little gimpy boy limped all weekend long. he seemed to be improving yesterday though and today woke up with no limp and no pain. i did schedule an appointment for him with my family practice doctor at the smaller clinic on wednesday for a physical. we will of course tell her about the leg but i don't know if she will be able to tell much now that he is feeling better. but, at least she will meet him and we will begin to acclimate him to the new clinic.

i am hoping this was a fluke and the pain won't flare up again. keep your fingers crossed for us!

to believe or not to believe...

i had to go and pick my son up from daycare today. they called me in the morning to tell me that he was limping and had leg pain. i knew this, since he started it last night. i knew this, because i just took him to the doctor for the very same thing six weeks ago and it turned out to be NOTHING. i reminded daycare of this and got off the phone.

at 2:00 this afternoon i received an email from daycare, saying my son had woken from his nap and still seemed to be in a lot of pain. they listed out their evidence and i knew i'd have to end up going to get him. i also knew i'd have to take him to the doctor again or risk being called a crappy parent or worse yet, have them scream child abuse.

we waited in the doctors office for over an hour before being seen. the diagnosis? nothing. my son actually giggled when the doc squeezed different parts of his leg to see if it hurt. when he walked down the hallway for her it looked contrived. once again i left the doctor's office feeling annoyed at my child.

the bf and i are arguing over it. he thinks my son is manipulative and should be punished. i do believe my son is quite possibly faking it, but also feel there has to be a meaningful reason why. either his leg really does or has ached, or there is something else bothering him. i got the doc to say that he shouldn't do anything for the rest of the day but lay down. even playing legos would be bad. my son was visably upset at this pronouncement.

when we got home, i made him lay in bed. i let him know i was not happy about the situation. he cried for a few minutes and then fell asleep. i made the decision to miss my daughter's open house at school and her dad took her instead. i didn't want to lug gimpy all over the school. i also decided he would not participate in swimming lessons tonight. i had him go to the daycare room alone while i worked out on the elliptical and ky went to swimming lessons. he cried when we left him and i felt horrible, but i wasn't going to give in. by the time i came to pick him up he was playing happily with another boy, so hopefully i didn't do too much damage.

i really don't know what to think or do. the bf thinks i should be harder on him. we fought on the phone after the doctor's appointment and i hung up on him i was so mad. he called back later and seemed to want to make up, but then proceeded to go off again and said something to the effect of "you've been played by a five year old." so i hung up after uttering some "choice" words.

i am not coddling my son, but i am also not going to be overly mean. what if there really is something wrong? i'm not going to give him special treatment, but i'm not going to yell at him either. it's not my style and i think it does more harm than good. still, it is a frustrating situation and i'm just not sure what is the right thing to do!?!?!?!

olympic conversations

on beach volleyball:

why are they wearing swimsuits mom? cuz they might fall in the water? or maybe cuz the ball might fall in the water? where is the water mom? is it under them? what are they standing on mom? sand? oh...i thought that was cookie dough. mom, why do people have whistles? go, go, go american! you can do it! yeah! mom, look how much points we have! mom, why do we have 7 points? we aren't supposed to have that much! we're supposed to have 21 points. what happened? oh...did we start over? mom, do we 'merican have ten points?

on their olympic futures:

i think i'll be in track or gymnastics in the olympics. gymnastics is only for girls. oh for the love of paint, i didn't know boys could do olympics too. i can't do volleyball. maybe i can do swimming. do you think swimming is better for me mom? you need to wear a head thing. for swimming. in the olympics. i am going to be an american. i don't want my brother to be in the same thing as me. but he can be an american. but i don't think they will allow me to do the olympics. what do you really want me to do in the olympics? for real? no, i'm serious on this mom.

on olympic softball:

is this the olympics? i thought it wasn't. why is it baseball olympics? why is it softball olympics? i know red is china. it looks like baseball, why is it called softball, because they have helmets on? why do they have helmets on? why does the pitcher have no helmet? because the pitcher wants to get hurt on its head?


on handball:

isn't that just for woman? it was just for woman last time. then why was it man? boys aren't supposed to be in the girls zone. this is the boys zone? it's not a girl zone? why is it a boy zone? what happened to that guy? probably got bonked his forehead. why are a lot of people getting hurt? why are the people getting hurt? they're playing soccer. soccer throw ball. i think it's kind of like volleyball except don't go like volleyball, you just throw it. you pass it to people. mom, did you see that guy? he was funny! there was fuzz all over his face.


on being olympic fanatics:

when does it end mom? i think it never ends. it probably ends some time, but i'm going to stay awake till the end. i'm going to watch it until i fall asleep. until i have to go potty and poop in my pants.

on a band-aid commercial:

why are those so special?

how she sleeps...

yes, she was really sleeping like this!

Happy Mother's Day!

Check out the photos from my outing with the kiddos here.

eye of my tiger

one has to wonder...ten years from now when today's children are dating, will there be an over-abundance of embarrassing videos to show to their perspective mates? methinks this may be the case.

praise the Lord!

my children and i rarely go to church, for numerous reasons that i will avoid getting into right now. this weekend my little darlings went to church with my mom, who told me that at the end of the service she was absolutely sweating from trying to keep them quiet and under control. i'm thinking she won't ask to take them again. 

apparently kyleigh, upon hearing the minister mention communion, had this reaction:

"bread? good! bread! i'm hungry! is it beer bread?"

seriously.  i couldn't even make this up.

conversations with a five year old girl

this morning on the way to work and daycare, ky was jabbering in the backseat as usual. she was talking about something that happened at daycare yesterday.

ky: "mom. yesterday gabby was trying to pick up a moth when we were outside. and she got it. and i told her to leave it alone but she didn't. i told her she was going to hurt it and she should let it go. but she didn't leave it alone."

me: "yeah, she should have left it alone ky, but gabby doesn't have to do what you tell her to do. just like you don't have to do what she tells you to do." 

**pause**

ky: "if gabby jumped off a bridge, i wouldn't jump of the bridge too. 

**pause**

ky: "would i, mom?"

suckingly sucktastic tooth fairy

ky lost a tooth on friday night. we were out with all the kids eating pizza when it came out. ky was pretty cool about the whole thing, i think this is about the fifth or sixth tooth she has lost, so she's a little pro.

when we got home that night, we prepared an envelope for the tooth fairy and tucked the little lost tooth inside. ky proudly filed it under her pillow.

the next morning, the envelope was still under her pillow, and there was no cash prize to be found. ky was a bit worried, but i told her that the tooth fairy was probably really busy and would show up the next night.

saturday night we tucked the envelope under her pillow again. sunday morning? same thing. damn tooth fairy was still really "busy". (eff, eff, eff! i am the WORST mom in the world.)

so, last night we gave it one more try. "i'm sure she'll come tonight." i told ky. "she has to be all caught up by now."

this morning? effing envelope was still under her pillow! why? cuz i can't effing remember to play tooth fairy! and i suck! 

i sent ky to the bathroom and grabbed a dollar bill. i stuffed it under her pillow in a spot i thought she hadn't checked. i had her come back into the room and pick up her pillow. she grabbed the money but looked suspicious and less than thrilled. 

a few minutes later, as we were putting the dollar bill in her piggy bank, ky looked me in the eye and said, "mom, is that your dollar?" crap. she's smarter than i give her credit for.

and i am a suckingly sucktastic tooth fairy.

will the real easter bunny please stand up?

tonight, the kids had an easter party at their daycare. and below is their picture with, you guessed it, the easter bunny.



after happily posing for pictures, my five year old daughter ky, jumped down, looked at the easter bunny and said accusingly:

"there's gotta be someone in there."

then: "mom, i think there's a teacher in there!"

kids everywhere ran screaming and crying to their parents, the myth of the easter bunny ruined for them all.

kidding

but it was funny, the contrast of the effect of our bunny friend on my three year old son.

as he hopped down from the bunny's lap, my darling son walked backwards, eyes on the bunny and wide with awe, bumping into people as he made his way back to me.

what a difference a couple of years makes.

SOMEONE is guilty...

last night when the kiddos got back from their dad's house, my five year old, ky, told us that her brother had been really naughty to her while they were there. she said that when her dad was in the shower, her three year old brother had done the following:

1. hit her.
2. punched her.
3. bit her. twice.
4. threw a shoe at her.
5. kicked her.
6. spit at her.

this is basically the exact same story she told last time they got home from their dad's. and ko got in BIG trouble. i think she enjoyed that. needless to say, we were a slight bit suspicios about her tale last night. so, the bf and i decided to quiz her a bit. the following is based on our actual exchange.

us: "so, ky...your brother was naughty to you again?"

ky: "yes!"

us: "what did he do to you?"

ky: "he hit me, and he punched me, and he spit in my eyes, and he kicked me, and threw a shoe at me, and he bit me here and here."

us: "really?"

ky: "yes." (looks all sad)

us: "so, did he kick you in the knee?"

ky: "yes."

us: "did he kick you in the other knee?"

ky: "yes."

us: "did he kick you in the back?"

ky: "yes."

us: "how about in the stomach?"

ky: "yes."

us: "did he throw a shoe at you?"

ky: "yes."

us: "did he throw four shoes at you?"

ky: "yes."

us: "really? four shoes?"

ky: "uh huh." (looks a bit worried)

us: "did he throw eight shoes at you?"

ky: "yes." (starting to sweat)

us: "are you sure? he really threw eight shoes at you?"

ky: nods.

us: "wow. that's a lot of shoes."

ky: "uh huh."

us: "are you sure all of this happened?"

ky: "yes..." (looks a bit nervous)

a bit more quizzing revealed that my dearest daughter had been lying through her teeth about her brother. thank goodness the bf was there with me, because i found the whole exchange to be hysterically funny. i felt like we were laywers. for the prosecution. i could barely contain my giggles. 

seriously.

mc donalds rules the world!

ahh...the glorious happy meal. the 500+ calorie, 25 grams of fat convenience food of which our children are so fond. as american as apple pie and baseball. tonight, i have given in to the lure of the easy meal. my children are sitting at the table right now, eating mcnuggets to their hearts' content. although i doubt their hearts are actually content. they are probably working overtime and pissed as hell.



i have a love-hate relationship with the happy meal. i hate mcdonalds. hate. it. i especially hate their supid commericals. by the time she was two my daughter would sing the little "baa baa baa" ditty every time she caught a glimpse of the golden arches. probably before she could even say mamma. actually, i'm pretty sure it was before she said mamma. and i don't think she had ever even eaten there. 

the marketing machine that is mcdonald's rules the world and most of us don't even know it. we are oblivious. until something like this happens:







* * *







ronald mcdonald. the most recognized figure in america. i rest my case.

i heart my daughter

ky, my little poser, my mini-me. the one who talks so cheerfully non-stop on the way to daycare and work every morning. the one who gives her mommy random hugs and kisses or shouts "i love you mommy!" out of the blue. the one who has made literally hundreds of pictures to decorate my "office". i always think i am ready to have the weekend off... but i miss you when you are gone.

you want what?

last night when we came back from a party, the kids both wanted a glass of water before they got ready for bed. i poured them each a glass and left them sipping in the kitchen while i headed for the bathroom. a couple of minutes later i shouted to ask if they were getting their pajamas on. ky responded from her room that she was getting ready, but that her brother was still in the kitchen "drinking his glass of eff." 

let this be a lesson...