i got this in an email today and it totally cracked me up:
All  women should live so long as to be this kind of old lady! 
Toward  the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, 'How many of you
have  forgiven  your enemies?'
 
80%  held up their hands.
 
The  Minister then repeated his question.
 
All  responded this time, except one small, elderly lady.
'Mrs.  Neely?'; 'Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?'
 
 I  don't have any.' She replied, smiling sweetly.
 
 'Mrs.  Neely, that is very unusual. How old are you?'
 
 'Ninety-eight.'  she replied.
 
 'Oh,  Mrs. Neely, would you please come down in front & tell us all how
a person  can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?'
 
The  little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the
congregation, and  said: 
 
  
'I  outlived the bitches.'
5.08.2008
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