sucker!

i spent a weekend at my mom's two weeks ago. my kiddos and i went there to take a break and be pampered. it was refreshing, and it worked.

at home i very, very rarely watch tv. i just have no desire to do it. but that weekend at my mom's i spent an awful lot of time in front of the good old boob tube. one night i sat up in the living room alone till at least 1:30 am. i changed channels a few times and settled on an interesting looking infomercial. i know, i know, that's kind of an oxymoron. infomercial and interesting don't generally go hand it hand. but i started watching this one and was hooked.

it was for some kind of magic makeup! oooo...look at that girl with the horrible complexion! oh wow, look how easy it is to transform her face from cruddy complexion to model perfect! that's amazing! and look at the stars endorsing it. it must be good stuff, right? i was suckered in. it looked soooooo easy! and i'd love an easy way to hide those red rosacea areas on my cheeks. and these dark circles under my eyes from stress. i would love to get rid of those. seriously, that looks easy. i can DO that. and look, they even did makeovers at my beloved mall of america. and minnesotan's don't lie, right? and the best part? it could all be mine for the low, low price of just $29.95!!!

so today i got my cute little pink box and felt that flutter of excitement i always feel when i get a package in the mail. i couldn't wait to rip into the package. i opened the pretty little box and saw it's pretty little pink insides. and there was the makeup. tiny little containers beautifully presented in a white mesh bag. and then i saw the two instruction booklets and the instructional dvd. wtf? i thought this was supposed to be eeeeeeasssy. still convinced i could make this work, i trudged into the bathroom to begin my own amazing transformation. i wish i could get this across to you in pictures. the result was less than flattering. my wrinkles stand out more than ever. in fact, i found some i hadn't even noticed before. the makeup is totally cakey, the kind i snicker about when i see it on others. (did she put that on with a putty knife, or what?) and my dark undereye circles? i swear they look worse. now they are both dark AND baggy. i look like a haggard streetwalker.

so the moral of the story is...there is a reason we really shouldn't buy things from infomercials. and dummies like me are proof. ; )