cottonballs

As I expected, my children didn't come back from a full week with their dad completely unscathed. Last night at bathtime, I found out my son had learned a very interesting new word.

After helping him wash his hair, I handed Ko a washcloth and asked him to wash his body.

To this he replied: "Mom, I have to wash my cottonballs."

"What?" I asked him, sure I was misunderstanding.

"Dad said I need to wash my cottonballs," he replied, pointing to his nether regions.

All I could think was, OMG, he didn't! Please tell me he didn't try and teach his son to say "co#k and balls" at age three. Or ever, for that matter. Can you imagine what daycare's response to this new language will be?

I gently explained to Ko that this terminology was incorrect and reiterated the terminology I had previously taught him.

Later, as he was getting dressed: "Mom, my cottonballs go in here," he said as he pointed to the front of his Spiderman underwear.

GRRRR!!!! So much for teaching him the "polite" terminology. Thank God so far it literally comes out as "cottonballs." I still have some time to counteract the effects of his father's bad judgement. Thing is, i'm sure his dad finds it absolutely hilarious.

Now stop laughing.

money talks

the scene:

the frozen food aisle at a local grocery store. me shopping with my three and five year old, both of whom are in the cart. i have a freezer door open with my head stuck inside scanning the plethora of lean cuisine options available to me. because of the hum of the freezer, i am unable to clearly hear all of the words of my darling children, but it went something like this:

ky: "mom....dad...money."

i was barely tuned in as i weighed the choice of spagetti and meatballs vs. cheese ravioli. then i hear the other child:

ko: "yeah....mommy....money."

i realize with horror what my children are saying very loudly, in public, in the freezer aisle while other shoppers snicker and stare:

ky: "mom, dad still says you stole all his money!"

ko: "yeah mom, daddy says mommy stole his money!"

my voice squeaks out a plea for them to stop talking as i try not to make a scene and strangle them.

i quickly exit the frozen food aisle, face burning in shame.

and p.s.:

not that he had any money to steal, but i most definitely did NOT steal their dad's money.  so glad he can stay mature and keep it civil for the kids.  sigh.