stayin alive!

yes, i'm alive. day two of the new job. it's going okay so far, but i have to admit i was a bit worried when i spent the first three hours of day one cleaning my new desk/cube area. ugh. no one would ever accuse me of being a clean freak, but even by my standards it was pretty disgusting! i spent an hour on the keyboard alone! a bit disheartening, but the people are really nice, at least. 

i definitely do miss the more plush accommodations of my prior office. the big cushy chair, the window view, the free soda, my mac computer....but none of that was the same anyway since my favorite co-worker left....

so, what if she was ugly?

this weekend kyleigh got into a little trouble at the our local Target. she ran way off ahead and we lost track of her. once we were reunited, the bf had a serious talk with her about what could happen to her if she ran off and someone "took" her.

the bf: blah blah blah..."why do you think we don't want to lose you?"

ky: (very seriously) "because i'm cute?"


sometimes i can't believe the things that come out of that child's mouth.

light at the end of the tunnel

i am officially free of my current corporate hell on november 5th! my last day in my current position is november 2nd. events have been occuring in the last week that have only affirmed for me that i am making the correct decision. now i just need to survive two and a half more weeks...

new job! hasta la vista, baby!

i was offered a position at the company i have been interviewing with. i have decided to take it!!! there are pros and cons but ultimately i think it will be a lot better for my mental health. so, somewhere in the 2-4 week range, i will be OUTTA HERE!!! 

yay!!!!!!

praise the Lord!

my children and i rarely go to church, for numerous reasons that i will avoid getting into right now. this weekend my little darlings went to church with my mom, who told me that at the end of the service she was absolutely sweating from trying to keep them quiet and under control. i'm thinking she won't ask to take them again. 

apparently kyleigh, upon hearing the minister mention communion, had this reaction:

"bread? good! bread! i'm hungry! is it beer bread?"

seriously.  i couldn't even make this up.

sucker!

i spent a weekend at my mom's two weeks ago. my kiddos and i went there to take a break and be pampered. it was refreshing, and it worked.

at home i very, very rarely watch tv. i just have no desire to do it. but that weekend at my mom's i spent an awful lot of time in front of the good old boob tube. one night i sat up in the living room alone till at least 1:30 am. i changed channels a few times and settled on an interesting looking infomercial. i know, i know, that's kind of an oxymoron. infomercial and interesting don't generally go hand it hand. but i started watching this one and was hooked.

it was for some kind of magic makeup! oooo...look at that girl with the horrible complexion! oh wow, look how easy it is to transform her face from cruddy complexion to model perfect! that's amazing! and look at the stars endorsing it. it must be good stuff, right? i was suckered in. it looked soooooo easy! and i'd love an easy way to hide those red rosacea areas on my cheeks. and these dark circles under my eyes from stress. i would love to get rid of those. seriously, that looks easy. i can DO that. and look, they even did makeovers at my beloved mall of america. and minnesotan's don't lie, right? and the best part? it could all be mine for the low, low price of just $29.95!!!

so today i got my cute little pink box and felt that flutter of excitement i always feel when i get a package in the mail. i couldn't wait to rip into the package. i opened the pretty little box and saw it's pretty little pink insides. and there was the makeup. tiny little containers beautifully presented in a white mesh bag. and then i saw the two instruction booklets and the instructional dvd. wtf? i thought this was supposed to be eeeeeeasssy. still convinced i could make this work, i trudged into the bathroom to begin my own amazing transformation. i wish i could get this across to you in pictures. the result was less than flattering. my wrinkles stand out more than ever. in fact, i found some i hadn't even noticed before. the makeup is totally cakey, the kind i snicker about when i see it on others. (did she put that on with a putty knife, or what?) and my dark undereye circles? i swear they look worse. now they are both dark AND baggy. i look like a haggard streetwalker.

so the moral of the story is...there is a reason we really shouldn't buy things from infomercials. and dummies like me are proof. ; )

girls day

today my mom, two sisters and i met in the twin cities for a wonderful "girls day." i can honestly say i don't remember the last time the four of us got together, just US. no kids, no men, no cousins, grandmas or friends. just mom and her three daughters! our first stop was this restaurant called "the melting pot". the melting pot was my first encounter with the dining experience of fondue. and it is most definitely an experience! my slightly germaphobe self had a bit of trouble with the whole double dipping thing that is bound to happen. but i survived. and it was fun, if nothing else!

next stop was the mall of america. we spent about two hours doing some hard-core shopping. i generally don't mix hard-core shopping and the MOA, but today was an exception to the rule. i had three critics to help me choose, and it was really fun! i got an adorable dress at the gap, and some great work clothes at NY&Co.

our last stop was a movie: a shameless chick-flick. it was all "fluff" and just what i needed. (along with a generous helping of popcorn and a diet coke.) it was kind of fun to zone out and give my brain a rest.

all in all, it was a lovely day. a little bonding time with the fam. i wonder when we'll manage to do it again?

alone doesn't equal lonely

it's saturday night, and i am home alone!!! i bullied the bf into going to a "Halo" (stupid video game) party with some of his friends. he hemmed and hawwed...he's not good at just doing something fun for himself and not feeling guilty. but i wasn't going to miss my chance at a blissfull night alone! i dropped him off with chips and two bottles of coke at six 'o clock. if my luck holds he won't be home till midnight, at the earliest. 

on the agenda for the evening:

shopping for two new sweaters (mission accomplished)
finishing laundry (i know, i know)
burning some mix cds and updating my itunes playlist
catching up on my blog-reading and writing
cranking my itunes and dancing around like the lovely ballerina i am 
comfy pajamas
pumpkin cheesecake
sweet cherry chill wine from lanesboro
reading a good book in bed

time to go tackle more from this list before my time runs out!!!!

p.s.
the second interview went very well. i'll post more about it sometime soon.

progress

i applied for a new job today. i got a response right away. i have an interview on friday!

the position is still within the same corporation, but at a different company/building. i'm not even sure it's what i'm looking for, but it is definitely worth a shot, right? 

wish me luck, all!

breaking the silence

hi, my name is angie and it's been 20 days since my last post. 20 days! holy crap that's a long time! i usually feel all funny if i go four days without posting. 

here's what happened while i was out...

one disasterous business trip to michigan, involving airline cancellations, creepy hotels, next to no sleep and frequent internet outages. (the internet was essential for what we were doing there)

a first time bowling trip for the little ones, kyleigh and kolby.

a wedding reception at a casino.

various arguments with the bf.

a very pleasurable viewing of the movie "bourne ultimatum".

a disappointing viewing of the movie "superbad".

illness/allergies brought on by a very damp, dank, disgusting movie theatre i will not be visiting again.

becoming a workout fanatic, not going more than two days without a workout for the last three weeks.

becoming absoultely determined to lose those last 8 pounds.

getting my daughter ready to start kindergarten in a little over a week. trying not to cry thinking about how fast my little girl is growing up!

trying not to dread my 31st birthday, one week from tomorrow. (something about adding on that one freaks me out a bit...)

trying not to be pissed off that the bf has "fantasy football draft night" on my birthday. and the fact that he actually FORGOT that my birthday is that day.


until next time,

over and out.

no. way.

You are Maryiln Monroe

A classic tortured beauty You're the dream girl of many men Yet they never seem to treat you right

What Famous Pinup Are You?

this is pathetic on so many levels...

kid humor

scene: the kitchen table, kyleigh and kolby are coloring.

ky: "when i get big like you momma, i'm going to have a girl. and i'm going to give her all kinds of nice girl stuff."

me: "really? what if you have a boy?"

ky: (thinking) "i'll give him to my brother so he can give him lots of rockin boy stuff!"

me: (shaking head and smothering a laugh what else can i do? and thinking...where the hell did she get the word "rockin"?)

we interrupt this evening...for an exciting report

i spent the majority of the weekend relaxing with the bf. we slept like we were teenagers with wicked hangovers. in truth, we are thirty-ish overworked, haggard, over-tired parents who desparately needed to recharge our batteries. it worked, although after the day i had at work today i feel like i need to recharge again already.

in other news...i went to the movie transformers on saturday night. let it be known that i did not go willingly. it was a compromise with the bf. 

things i learned at the movie:

josh duhamal is hot.

megan fox, although hot, is most certainly not a high school girl. duh, dreamworks. you insult me.

transformers are cheesy. and not in the melty, gooey, yummy way, either.

i am too old for a 10:15 movie.

that's all i've got.

7 or 8 or maybe 15 things about me...

okay, i was tagged by my old friend maurey for 8 things about me, and also by my friend worker mommy, for 7 things about me. i'm not sure i want to bore you all with 15 things or if i can even think of that many...so i'll go as far as i can. :)

1. i love to cook. really, truly love it. not baking so much, but cooking. i only wish i had more time to indulge my passion. i would LOVE to take cooking classes, or even just spend more time experimenting at home. but alas, when we get home at six o'clock the kids are ready to eat, NOW! and nothing fancy will do. mac-n-cheese is just fine with them, thanks. and so about once a month i get to really COOK something. it's not nearly enough, but maybe someday i will have more time! (ha!)

2. i am an avid reader. it's one of my favorite things to do. let me curl up with a good book and all of my troubles are gone, at least for a while! i read a pretty wide variety of books, and am currently reading a new one, "In search of Eden" by Linda Nichols. i like to get in reading time every night if i can, and have been doing a bit more while home with my little sickie this week. it's the only thing keeping me sane!

3. i love playing cards. for money. i especially love playing blackjack at the casino. there was a time when i won $700 doing so! in high school and into college we would get some wild and crazy games of cards going for dimes an nickels and such. no big money, but i loved the rush of winning. still do. but i avoid the casino and don't get into too many wild and crazy card games anymore. because while i love the rush of winning, i really can't afford the crash of losing.

4. i love water. oceans, lakes, rivers, ponds...give me water and i am peaceful and happy. not so much to be on the water, but just to be near it. i even named my dog for one of my "water loves". temperance. for the beautiful temperance river in northern mn. my favorite body of water so far is also here in the great state of minnesota: lake superior. i'd live there if i could. just being near it makes me feel good.

5. i curse. kind of a lot, sometimes. and piss-poor drivers bring out the worst in me. i forget myself. i forget my kids. and i SWEAR like a sailor! most of the time i am pretty good at hiding it. i only let loose around a few people. but those lucky souls really get an earful. my favorite cuss word? fucktard. as in: my fucktard neighbors were up at 3:00, shooting off loud ass firecrackers and waking up my kids.

6. i am a former pageant queen. okay, so my only pageant was a small-town event that i participated in only to please my father the city councilor and newspaper man. and i was only the runner-up. but i had to wear an effing wool kilt in small town parades all summer long. that should count for something, right?

7. i no longer speak to my father. it's not necessarily a conscious decision i made, but i haven't spoken to him in over six months. i didn't even call him on father's day. his birthday is tomorrow and i'm not calling him for that, either. i've only seen him once in the last two years. i used to be his favorite child of four. i did anything and everything he asked. i hauled his drunk ass everywhere. i even visited him while he was in jail for multiple dwi's. one day i finally woke up and said, enough! i am cutting this poison out of my life. (this may have been the day after he asked me for $10,000, because he knew i had just been divorced and had sold my house. because hey, what would a single mother starting all over need that money for anyway, right??)

8. i have two sisters and one half sister. i am the oldest. i have no brothers. i am pretty close to my two sisters, but at times feel like the odd man out. three's a crowd and all that. and i don't talk to my half sister very often anymore. she has had a rough life. i'm there for her when i can be, and will continue to be there when i can.

9. i majored in social work in college. i thought i wanted to "help people." i was inspired by my half-sister's social worker years ago. i wanted to be like her, i wanted to "save" kids. i was in the field for two years, working with troubled kids. but their troubled existences only gave me flashbacks to my own tortured past, and i couldn't handle it anymore. so i quit, and i've rarely looked back. i'm about as far from that now as i can be, working in marketing. i still get to help people at times but it's not so personal, it's not going to ruin anyone's life if i screw up. and it's not going to eat at me after-hours at home. (most of the time, that is.)

10. i am a night-owl. although i have tried to force it out of myself in recent years, i have the most energy at night. i hate getting out of bed in the morning. i hate mornings. and afternoons? totally made for naps! but once the sun starts to go down i feel energized. i have finally gotten to the point though where i am ready for bed at 11:00. the bf is even more of a night-owl than me though, so i usually am up till midnight or so. and then i don't get enough sleep and am never ready to get up in the morning. i NEED my sleep. 8 hours is perfect. but i rarely get it. especially living with a man who thrives on 4-5 hours. still trying to get to a happy medium with that!

11. i am getting sick of myself now, so i think i'll sign off, even though i didn't make it to fifteen. i'm sure you'll get over it. in fact, you're probably breathing a sigh of relief right now, thinking..."thank God she is finally going to stop!"

it's five o' clock somewhere...

right? so it shouldn't matter that i am having a wine cooler for lunch today?

i am at home. and i am dealing with kid puke. and i have to scrub the kitchen floor shortly due to the fact that said child puked on it.

I think i'm justified, right?

bottoms up!

conversations with a five year old girl

this morning on the way to work and daycare, ky was jabbering in the backseat as usual. she was talking about something that happened at daycare yesterday.

ky: "mom. yesterday gabby was trying to pick up a moth when we were outside. and she got it. and i told her to leave it alone but she didn't. i told her she was going to hurt it and she should let it go. but she didn't leave it alone."

me: "yeah, she should have left it alone ky, but gabby doesn't have to do what you tell her to do. just like you don't have to do what she tells you to do." 

**pause**

ky: "if gabby jumped off a bridge, i wouldn't jump of the bridge too. 

**pause**

ky: "would i, mom?"

news from the south

my trip to kc this weekend was awesome, but way too short. seems like just when we start to really warm up it's time for me to leave. it sucks.

it took me seven hours to get down there. i listened to the three cd's i burned and the four the bf burned. i got through ALL of them on the way down! it was sweet of the bf to take the time to choose all the music and take the time to burn cd's for me. he put on a bunch of "new" music, plus a few of the classics. i grooved all the way there. 

i really enjoyed the first six hours of the drive, but it began to wear thin during the last hour...all of which was spent manuvering the city and trying to get to e's house. it sucked to know that mile-wise, i was so close, but because of the traffic it took forever! the drive back was only six hours! a whole hour of my day burned in traffic. i guess there really are some good things about living in a smaller city!

it was wonderful to see e and meet her adorable baby boy. where in the past our laughs were based on our own silliness and/or level of intoxication, this time it was everything baby. his facial expressions were hilarious, and we tortured the poor darling with a super cute little bucket hat i brought for him. it was really cool seeing what a wonderful mother e is and neat to watch her and the baby interact.

leaving was very bittersweet. i was so happy that we were able to reconnect again, but so sad knowing that i probably won't get to see her again for at least another six months. being there really reminded me of how much i still have that hole in my life, with my best friend and i living so far apart. i have other friends of course. really good friends. and i have my sisters. thank god for them all! but sometimes i just want to be able to call up e to meet up for a drink after work. or to go out for lunch. or go shopping. or have a playdate. anything. 

i miss her so much.

on the road again

tomorrow i'm hitting the road to see my best friend e in kansas city. i took off work for tomorrow and rented a car. i'll be on the road at about 8:30 in the morning, beginning the 7ish hour drive. another alone trip! i'm really excitecd to see her, and her new baby, and to just have hours upon hours alone in the car, singing at the top of my lungs to whatever the hell i feel like listening to.

i haven't seen e in six months. i miss her like crazy. we met in college and bonded over cigarette breaks in between our social work classes. we quickly became very close. i have never had a friend like her in my entire life, and don't expect i ever will again. it's hard to explain really, but when she moved out of state i was breaking up with a boyfriend at the same time. and i cried WAY more over her leaving than i did over breaking up with my five year, high school sweetheart.

any long-distance relationship is hard to maintain, and we try our best to stay connected. the phone calls and emails become less and less, and i know we aren't as close as we once were. but when we get together it's like we were never apart. i can talk to her about ANYTHING. whenever i need real, honest advice, she is the one i turn to. she will tell it like it is, whether i want to hear it or not. and my God, do we laugh. and laugh and laugh and laugh. 

even though we don't talk as much anymore, she is still important to me. i still love her like a sister. and she is still my best friend. i can't wait to see her again, and meet her precious baby.

suckingly sucktastic tooth fairy

ky lost a tooth on friday night. we were out with all the kids eating pizza when it came out. ky was pretty cool about the whole thing, i think this is about the fifth or sixth tooth she has lost, so she's a little pro.

when we got home that night, we prepared an envelope for the tooth fairy and tucked the little lost tooth inside. ky proudly filed it under her pillow.

the next morning, the envelope was still under her pillow, and there was no cash prize to be found. ky was a bit worried, but i told her that the tooth fairy was probably really busy and would show up the next night.

saturday night we tucked the envelope under her pillow again. sunday morning? same thing. damn tooth fairy was still really "busy". (eff, eff, eff! i am the WORST mom in the world.)

so, last night we gave it one more try. "i'm sure she'll come tonight." i told ky. "she has to be all caught up by now."

this morning? effing envelope was still under her pillow! why? cuz i can't effing remember to play tooth fairy! and i suck! 

i sent ky to the bathroom and grabbed a dollar bill. i stuffed it under her pillow in a spot i thought she hadn't checked. i had her come back into the room and pick up her pillow. she grabbed the money but looked suspicious and less than thrilled. 

a few minutes later, as we were putting the dollar bill in her piggy bank, ky looked me in the eye and said, "mom, is that your dollar?" crap. she's smarter than i give her credit for.

and i am a suckingly sucktastic tooth fairy.

adventures in shopping (with children)

the scene: target bathroom

the players: my children, kyleigh and kolby, each in separate bathroom stalls, strangers in the other two stalls.

*really, really loud gas sound*

ky: "whoa, ko! you farted, that was really loud!" (cackles with laughter.)

*silence and chirping crickets*

ko: "i didn't fart."

(the noise did in fact, come from the lady in stall one.)

me (trying hard not to burst out laughing) : "ky, can you just finish up and be quiet please?"

ms. manners

so...i took my children to a local fast food establishment for dinner last night. we had t-ball to get to, and no time to run home and eat. 

the kids and i sat down at a table with our sandwiches and fries. partway into our meal, i began to hear a familiar click, click, click sound coming from a few tables away. i stopped mid-bite and looked around.

i spotted the source of the noise straight ahead. a woman sitting in booth, talking on her cell phone and...clipping her fingernails! i watched her collect the clippings on the seat and dust them off onto the floor nonchalantly. wtf? i couldn't even continue eating.

what the hell is the matter with people? and why must they clip their nails in my presence? (i have a co-worker who often clips her nails at her desk.) is everyone so effing busy that they can't clip their damn nails in their own home?

i do not want to come into contact with your grubby nail clippings, people! multi-task yourself somewhere else!

my brain hurts

it's monday, my brain hurts. i don't feel like blogging.

so i leave you with these, pictures of my daughter at her very first t-ball practice last week. oversize hat, oversize shirt, brand new pink and purple "mitt" as she calls it. she LOVED t-ball. and she actually did pretty well, despite the ridiculous "getup" she was wearing.

have a good night!

history buff

yes, i am a college graduate. i got decent grades. i even enjoyed history. but despite all that, i truly didn't realize that samuel adams is/was so much more than just a beer...



i am truly ashamed. however, in my defense, when you google "samuel adams"... the first listing that comes up? it's for the beer.

what's in a name?

When I tucked her into bed tonight, my daughter Ky informed me that she thinks it might be nice to change her name.

Ky: "Mom, I think it would be nice to change my name to Cherry Cheetah. Seadolphin. Cherry Cheetah Seadolphin. Seadolphin would be my last name. Or else maybe Strawberry Cheetah. Or Raspberry Cheetah would be good too."

Me: (trying desparetly not to laugh) "Really? Cherry Cheetah Seadolphin, huh? Where did you get that name from?"

Ky: (very seriously) "From my new brain."

Me: (dying, now) "When did you get a new brain?"

Ky: "I put it in the other day, while we were in the car. My old brain is here (points to left side of head) and my new brain is here (points to right side of head)."

Me: "Wow, really?"

Ky: "Yeah, and I can give you a new brain too."

Me: "Fantastic! That's just what I need! Where do I sign up?" 

Who knew I had a brain surgeon for a daughter? And one who has such fabulous taste in names to boot?

random boston fare...

The following are some random pictures from the Boston trip. . .

Fenway Stadium! We got this shot of Fenway from a skywalk at the top of the Prudential Building. The views from up there were amazing!

Here is a view of the beautiful Boston cityscape, taken from the ocean while we were on our "Whale Watch" boat.

The "T".

My lovely tour guide, "K".

Self explanatory...(and yes, they really DO sound like that.)

Crazy catholic shrine on a balcony in "Southie."

Now, back to catching up on my emails...

cottonballs

As I expected, my children didn't come back from a full week with their dad completely unscathed. Last night at bathtime, I found out my son had learned a very interesting new word.

After helping him wash his hair, I handed Ko a washcloth and asked him to wash his body.

To this he replied: "Mom, I have to wash my cottonballs."

"What?" I asked him, sure I was misunderstanding.

"Dad said I need to wash my cottonballs," he replied, pointing to his nether regions.

All I could think was, OMG, he didn't! Please tell me he didn't try and teach his son to say "co#k and balls" at age three. Or ever, for that matter. Can you imagine what daycare's response to this new language will be?

I gently explained to Ko that this terminology was incorrect and reiterated the terminology I had previously taught him.

Later, as he was getting dressed: "Mom, my cottonballs go in here," he said as he pointed to the front of his Spiderman underwear.

GRRRR!!!! So much for teaching him the "polite" terminology. Thank God so far it literally comes out as "cottonballs." I still have some time to counteract the effects of his father's bad judgement. Thing is, i'm sure his dad finds it absolutely hilarious.

Now stop laughing.

lobster hats, whales and cheers, oh my!

greetings to all my blogosphere friends! i am back from my visit to the east coast. this lobster hat picture is for you! i never really realized boston was so much of a "lobster oriented" city. i mean, it's live maine lobster, right? well, boston had everything lobster. t-shirts, candy, hats, jewelry, toys...you name it, they have it. and so i had fresh lobster at a lovely little restaurant down by the harbor one night. YUM! i ate seafood at least once a day while i was there. my mercury levels are likely though the roof, but i don't care. it was worth it. my mouth waters just thinking about all of the wonderful seafood delights i experienced during my trip.



this post is going to be slightly schitzophrenic. i just picked out some of my favorite pictures to tell you about. the next one was taken outside of cheers! we actually didn't set out specifically to find it, but thought we better get a picture since we happened upon it. classic.





this next pic is of the bf and i as we set sail on our "whale watching" tour. it was absolutely AMAZING! i have never experienced anything like it in my entire life! we went out on a three hour cruise into the ocean and got to see a bunch of real, live, wild whales! we got some incredible pictures and even some video of it.




this is a pic the bf got of a "baby" whale. pretty big baby if you ask me.



i'll be back soon with more pictures, stories and talk of the reunion of the bf and i. i'm having fun catching up on reading all of your blogs!

kiss kiss!

solo

i love traveling. i love traveling even when it means i have to get up at 3:00 am after three hours of sleep to drive my rental car 1.5 hours to the airport. in the rain. alone. blissfully alone. with the radio cranked and singing at the top of my lungs to whatever the hell i feel like listening to.

i cried when i dropped off the kids yesterday. i cried when i left the house and the bf this morning. i'm weird like that. i was very much looking forward to this trip and to the alone time, but i always have problems with saying goodbye to my loved ones. i'm fine now. i miss them all, but i'm enjoying this time in a new city on my own. 

right now i am hanging out on my king sized hotel bed, apple ibook on my lap and my ipod singing in my ears. i talked to the bf a little bit ago. he misses me. he didn't expect to miss me so much. that feels nice. i miss him too, but i wouldn't change this. i need this. we need this. it is good.

leavin' on a jet plane

three days from now i will be heading off to boston on my very first solo flight. i will be staying alone in a strange city for three days. i will be getting my very first glimpse of the ocean. as i listen to my kids fighting in the bathroom right now, i look forward to all this with great anticipation. 

the trip is for work, and i am flying out early sunday morning. my conference goes from monday-wednesday. then, the bf is flying out to meet me on wednsday to stay two nights - a mini-vacation for the two of us. after my three nights of alone time, i'm sure i will be very happy to see him. it such a great feeling, seeing someone again after missing them for a while. because the old cliché is true really, absence does make the heart grow fonder.

pet peeve of the day...

people who fight dirty. 

because i know i am wrong sometimes. or, make that a lot. i know i say dumb things. but is it necessary to throw it in my face? is it necessary to be so stinking MEAN?

i forgive easily. why can't you?

Vicodin + Me = VERY BAD NEWS

so...friday found me crowing about the vicodin i received to cope with my root canal. mmmm...good, strong vicodin would make me very happy, i thought. i bragged to my blogosphere friends about how cool it was that i had vicodin in my possession. the root canal pain was bad friday morning, so i took two vicodin shortly after i arrived at work. the night before i had taken a few, it seemed to take care of the pain very well. no big deal to take a couple, i thought.

at around 11:00 am, i started to feel weird. i was a bit dizzy and out of sorts, and not making a ton of sense as i tried to help my fave co-worker with a problem. it was kind of funny at first. then the nausea kicked in. it was intense. i sat at my desk with my head laying on my arms, taking deep breaths and trying to get rid of the horrible feeling. my girl A was sweet and brought me some bubbly soda, and encouraged me to eat a bit. nothing was working. i was disappointed when i realized i would not be able to join A for a nice relaxing lunch. i was going to have to head home and lay down a bit.

both my boss and my girl A offered me a ride home, but i figured i would make it home just fine. i grabbed the bag out of my garbage, just in case. i hopped in the car and rolled down the windows. i made it about a mile when i started feeling that horrible sensation of vomit on the way. there were several cars behind me with no where to pull over. so, i did the only thing i could. i grabbed the garbage bag with one hand and held the steering wheel with the other as i very violently tossed my cookies. thank God i managed to get it all neatly in the bag, and even better, the bag appeared not to have any holes in it!

when i got home i was like the living dead. every time i moved an inch i felt rolling waves of nausea. the bf called at some point and urged me to try and eat. i grabbed a bowl of shredded wheat and managed two bites. my reaction was so strong that i had to lay down on the bed, the bowl of cereal and milk at my side. i couldn't even muster up the strength to take the bowl to the kitchen.

at some point in the afternoon, i spent some time laying on the bathroom floor. i don't remember the last time i have been that ill. and the worst part of it all? the bf had no sympathy for me. he said it was my own fault that i didn't eat enough before taking the pills. (that morning i had half a donut, two 100 calorie packs and a bottle of green tea, but whatever.) so besides being violently ill, i was sobbing because the bf was being so mean.

only later i found out that both my sister and my grandma have had the same reactions to vicodin. both are considered "allergic". that sure would have been nice to know.

now, i am dealing with the root canal pain in this way: good old fashioned advil.

and the bf? well, i finally forgave him for being a butthead. but next time he is ill i might just decide to kick him in the teeth.

sweet relief in the form of vicodin

why is it that even when you have your mouth cranked and propped and your face half numb, those fools at the dentist's office STILL try to get you to carry on a conversation? root canals suck enough the way it is. i don't feel like small talking with you mr. dentist, even if you are quite a hottie. (new dentist is young and CUTE!)

the appointment took forever, and they are still not done with my root canal. they sucked up all the nerves and relieved the pressure. i go back next week to have the cavity drilled and filled. the best part of the whole thing? they gave me vicodin. mmmm....good stuff. i was one happy girl last night.

anyway, i am feeling much better today. my mouth is tender and bruised, but i no longer feel like my tooth is going to explode.
and it's a beautiful, sunny day. and friday. and i get to go to lunch with my fave co-worker. and i just took two vicodin. life is good.

total agony

i am in absolute agony today. i have had toothache for about a week now. i've been popping advil like it's going out of style. and i mean, like, 2-3 every 2-3 hours. today i finally have a dentist appointment. so i decided i should probably lay off the painkillers so that i can explain exactly where the problem is coming from. OMG! it's BAD people! it radiates down my neck and up to my ear. i want to cry but i think my coworkers would be scared.



i, like many i know, hate, hate, hate going to the dentist. and i'm pretty sure that today is going to be a root canal day. i hate the needle, hate the shot, hate having my mouth pried open like a large mouth bass. but most of all? i HATE having half of my face numb. i can't stand the way it feels. for me it's the worst part of the whole thing. 

maybe they could just give me some of these instead?

i think i'm alone now...

tonight i am essentially home alone. the kids are asleep. the bf is away at a twins baseball game two hours away. he won't be home for a few hours yet. me? i am in heaven! it has been a long time since i have been without the bf past 8:00. he hasn't been doing as much freelancing lately. and he is home. every. stinking. night. granted, when we first started dating, i whined and pissed and moaned about him being gone so much and home so late every night. now? well, it's nice that he's home more, but...i am very much enjoying some "me" time tonight.

i purchased a six back of beer tonight. getting drunk, you ask? oh no. here is a true sign of aging: i bought the beer specifically to make beer bread. in fact, i tried to drink a bottle. i had one swig. it was all i could handle. determined to ingest some sort of alcohol, i settled on a bacardi silver strawberry that has been in the fridge for months. and hey, one of those on an empty stomach? well, it's just enough to make me feel warm and fuzzy. give me another and i'll probably pass out on the kitchen floor. 

i am going to milk this night for all it's worth. i am going to eat crackers in bed. and drink my bacardi. and crank my music. and read some trashy tabloid websites. maybe i'll even turn on the t.v. because hey, i'm wild and crazy like that.

my little darlings

just had to share this pic of my little darlings at the wedding over the weekend.



and this close up of my little man, in a tux no less!



and last but not least my little self-proclaimed princess:



that's all for tonight, folks! tune in tomorrow for more exciting news from the land of soooo minnesota!

the skinny

this morning after my daughter got dressed, she came to me and said her shorts were falling down. sure enough, they were hanging off her tiny little body.

"you're just so dang skinny!" i said. "we'll have to find you a different pair."

ky looked at me and said "mom, are you skinny?"

"i don't know, what do you think ky, am i skinny or fat?" i replied.

"mom, fat is a bad word, isn't it?" she said gravely.

so i guess i won't be looking to her for any confidence building anytime soon...

best. weekend. ever.

i had a most fabulous weekend. i didn't want it to end. why did it have to end??

first of all, i was off work on friday. the sun was shining. the birds were singing. i met my girls for peach margaritas, chips and salsa. my favorite drink, my favorite snack, two of my favorite people and even a little bit of shopping after. need i say more?




friday night the bf and i watched a movie at home, and then saturday morning the we slept in. we had a nice little late morning romp, after which the bf took me out for my favorite meal...crab legs! i could eat crab legs every day for the rest of my life. i'd be swollen as hell from the salt, but i'd be happy. yum!




we made plans to head to minneapolis for the twins baseball game later that day, so after lunch we headed out shopping for minnesota twins shirts! i found a really cute red nike polo shirt at scheels, although i really wanted to buy the t-shirt we found at penny's that made me look like i had double d's and made the bf's eyes pop out of his head. i think i'll sneak back there and buy that one, just to wear at home. *wink*



we decided to take the light rail from the MOA to the dome for the game. this was the first ride for both of us. apparently many others had the same idea, the train was absolutely packed! thank God we got on first and had seats to sit in. there were people standing in the aisles throughout the whole train. you literally could have shoved one and watched the rest fall down like a bunch of dominoes. yes, i was able to resist the urge to push one. barely. i got a little motion sickness, and had a hard time with the germ factor. but it was fun anyway.




the twins game was a total blast! we had awesome, lower level seats. the twins won 12-5! and let's face it, those boys are pretty easy on the eyes. hunter, mauer, morneau, cuddyer...mmm mmm mmm.



it. was. perfect.

peach margaritas

it's been a long week. need i say more?

my night as a sardine

though the universe seemed to be conspiring against it, i ended up going to the bob schneider concert with my sister on friday night. she lives over an hour away from me, and i was supposed to be at her house at 8, but i didn't even leave mankato till 8.

i swear i got stuck at every possible stoplight on my way up. every. single. one. when i arrived at her house it was almost 9:30, and bob was due to start at around 10:00, so time was tight. there was a lot of construction in the area of the venue, so we had a hard time finding a place to park. finally we got a prime spot for FREE because of a connection my sis has through her husband. 

we got inside and saw little "sold out" signs posted all over the box office. shit. sis had not purchased our tickets ahead of time. she was ready to cry. back out to the parking lot to talk to her "connection." we followed him back into the venue and were able to get in for FREE. sweet.

the place was beyond packed. bodies were squeezed together on the floor with not an inch of breathing room between them. i had flashbacks of seeing club fires on the news and everyone creating a stampede that caused our bodies to burn into a charred mass of wreckage. but, i trudged forward, following my starstruck sister through the pack of sardines. there weren't going to be any pyrotechnics tonight anyway, were there?

we barreled our way through the crowd, making our way towards the stage. some little old lady actually pushed me. "keep moving ladies, you aren't taking my spot!" she growled angrily. i turned around and told her that maybe if she got her effing hands off me i'd get out of her way.

finally we fould a halfway decent spot to plant ourselves. there were a few really young guys between us who were loud and obnoxious but friendly. they buffered us from the crowd most of the night. 

after we settled into our spot i started sipping these:



well, sipping wouldn't be quite the correct terminology. i practically guzzled my first one. i mean hey, i wanted to be able to really get into this concert of music i did not know. and get into it i did. if you have never been to a bob schneider concert, know that it is very interactive. a lot of sing alongs, etc. the more woodpeckers i consumed the more confident i was shouting out the words to these unfamiliar songs. i think my body was moving to the music the entire two hours. it was a blast.

it was too bad my sister had to be sober cab, she wasn't able to join me on my quest for the ultimate buzz. and buzz i did. it was great. i would definitely do it again. um er...the concert that is.

Quotes from Employee Appraisal Reports...

1. Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

2. His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.

3. I would not allow this associate to breed.

4. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.

5. When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.

6. He would be out of his depth in a puddle.

7. This young lady has delusions of adequacy.

8. She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

9. This associate should go far - and the sooner he starts the better.

10. This associate is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.


note: i can especially relate to 3,6,7 and 10. i know someone here that fits each. in fact, i know some that match all ten.

to party or not to party, that is the question

my little sis invited me to a "concert" tonight. i use the term concert loosely because it is at the fineline in downtown minneapolis. does that count as a concert? hell, maybe it does. or is it technically a "show"? i'm not well versed in such matters. i can count on one hand the number of concerts i have been to. 

we are going to see bob schneider. i no nothing of this man or his music. all i know is that i heard my sweet goodie goodie (or so i thought) little sis bellowing his dirty lyrics in a very inebriated state from the back seat of my car on halloween night. i never even thought she knew such words!

i have had very little opportunity in my life to party with my sister. for many years we were sort of arch enemies. she is only 18 months younger than me.  in the last few years my sis and i have finally connected. i am the godmother of her one year old son. she is the godmother of my son.  i have cried on her shoulder and she on mine. rarely though, have we gone out and really partied together. tonight is the perfect opportunity. what's the holdup, you ask?

1. we have the kids this weekend. if i go, i am leaving the bf home with four kids tonight. alone.

2. my sis lives over an hour away. the concert will be done late. i'll have to spend the night on her couch.

3. there is the possibilty of an extreme hangover. and then having to drive home and spend time with four kids.

4. bf just had a HUGE fallout with his ex. maybe i should stay home and lend him a sympathetic ear tonight?

i always waffle on these issues. i am sort of a homebody. things like this come up and sound fun, but i always drag my feet, finding reasons not to go. maybe it's because there is so much go, go, go in my life. i just want to relax! but when i force myself to just GO, i nearly always have a good time. so, go you say. to hell with the waffling. just do it.

and i say...okay. fine. i will.

i heart my bf

i broke my phone saturday night. dropped it on the floor in my sister's entryway. broken beyond all hope of repair. i hated that damn phone, but it was my lifeline to the world. i don't have a landline anymore, haven't for over a year. how was anyone going to get in touch with me? let me know when i won that 1 million sweepstakes?

so yesterday i went all day without a phone. the kiddos and i drove to the twin cities for my nephew's birthday party. i felt weird without the phone. naked.

bf didn't go with me to the party. he stayed home and hung out with his kids. 

last night after i got home and put the kids to bed, bf was acting funny. he picked up his phone and dialed. i could hear a muffled ringing coming from our bed. i reached under the pillow and found this:



i really, really heart my bf.

p.s.

did i also mention that the house was wonderfully clean when i got home? and the laundry was almost done?

i really, really, really, really heart my bf.

Top ten excuses for falling asleep at your desk

"They told me at the blood bank this might happen."

"I wasn't sleeping, I was trying to pick up a contact lens without using my hands."

"I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"

"Amen"

"This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to."

"Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper"

"I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work related stress."

"This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!"

"Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off!"

"Damn! Why did you interrupt me? I almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."

boys+workout videos=serious entertainment

the bf has begun doing my denise austin workout video with me. i admit, i bullied him into it the first time. i needed to do it, he was home, and i didn't feel like sweating my ass off with him snickering nearby. 

and besides, i am sick of him complaining about his ever growing waistline, anyway. over the winter he has built up quite the little budda belly. it needs to go.

the first time, he moaned and groaned and complained. but he got on his workout clothes. and gave it his all. i think he complained more because he felt like he should. i think he secretly wanted to do the workout with me anyway. he's kind of metro-sexual like that.

it was hard to keep my smirks to myself as he threw himself into the exercises. the grunting and groaning and straining to remain upright was hilarious. i swear the man has no balance. no flexiblity. he looked so uncomfortable doing the exercises. but he finished the video. and he did it with me again two nights later.

what a trooper. next up? billy blanks...

will the real easter bunny please stand up?

tonight, the kids had an easter party at their daycare. and below is their picture with, you guessed it, the easter bunny.



after happily posing for pictures, my five year old daughter ky, jumped down, looked at the easter bunny and said accusingly:

"there's gotta be someone in there."

then: "mom, i think there's a teacher in there!"

kids everywhere ran screaming and crying to their parents, the myth of the easter bunny ruined for them all.

kidding

but it was funny, the contrast of the effect of our bunny friend on my three year old son.

as he hopped down from the bunny's lap, my darling son walked backwards, eyes on the bunny and wide with awe, bumping into people as he made his way back to me.

what a difference a couple of years makes.

waterlogged

wa·ter·logged [waw-ter-lawgd, -logd, wot-er-] 

–adjective

1. so filled or flooded with water as to be heavy or unmanageable, as a ship.
2. excessively saturated with or as if with water: waterlogged ground; waterlogged with fatigue.
3. a.k.a. ME!

along with my rejuvenated exercise plan and goal to lose 10 pounds, i am trying to drink more water. this morning, i successfully mananged to ingest five cups of the complimentary ice water company t so kindly provides us with. and i swear to you, i have um...released twice as much. wtf? how can i get anything done here when i am running to the bathroom every five minutes!

wait...i get it now! they (the evil they) recommend the water because it forces me to get my arse up and moving as i go back and forth from the restroom countless times. 

clever bastards.

hunk 'o burnin' love

today, the bf sent me this. taken at his desk. with his mac.




don't you just love technology? and sexy boys with a great sense of humor?

anticipation

you know how sometimes, when you are waiting for something for a really long time, and then it finally happens, and it's just not quite what you were hoping for? 

i really hate it that.

911

last night while the bf was downstairs showering, i heard a shout. i didn't go downstairs and check on him. he can be slightly dramatic, and he also likes to sing...loudly and off-key. i figured it was one or the other.

about ten minutes later i heard him shuffling up the stairs from the basement, moving very slowly. as he rounded the corner at the top of the stairs, i saw that he was bent over, caveman style. he looked absolutely pathetic. in pain. agony. he explained that he had hurt himself in the shower. while trying to lift his leg and wash his foot. how does one not laugh at that vision?

he made it over to the bed and sat down. it took him literally ten minutes to move from one side of the bed to the other. we got him situated with a heating pad under his back and a pillow under his knees. i grabbed him some advil and he popped three of them.

he looked over at me with puppy dog eyes and said...

"so, do you think we need to call an ambulance?"

are you serious?

why is it that men always think they are dying when they are not feeling well? when i'm not feeling well i'm still expected to make dinner, wash dishes, do laundry, get the kids bathed and to bed... i think i was born the wrong gender.

SOMEONE is guilty...

last night when the kiddos got back from their dad's house, my five year old, ky, told us that her brother had been really naughty to her while they were there. she said that when her dad was in the shower, her three year old brother had done the following:

1. hit her.
2. punched her.
3. bit her. twice.
4. threw a shoe at her.
5. kicked her.
6. spit at her.

this is basically the exact same story she told last time they got home from their dad's. and ko got in BIG trouble. i think she enjoyed that. needless to say, we were a slight bit suspicios about her tale last night. so, the bf and i decided to quiz her a bit. the following is based on our actual exchange.

us: "so, ky...your brother was naughty to you again?"

ky: "yes!"

us: "what did he do to you?"

ky: "he hit me, and he punched me, and he spit in my eyes, and he kicked me, and threw a shoe at me, and he bit me here and here."

us: "really?"

ky: "yes." (looks all sad)

us: "so, did he kick you in the knee?"

ky: "yes."

us: "did he kick you in the other knee?"

ky: "yes."

us: "did he kick you in the back?"

ky: "yes."

us: "how about in the stomach?"

ky: "yes."

us: "did he throw a shoe at you?"

ky: "yes."

us: "did he throw four shoes at you?"

ky: "yes."

us: "really? four shoes?"

ky: "uh huh." (looks a bit worried)

us: "did he throw eight shoes at you?"

ky: "yes." (starting to sweat)

us: "are you sure? he really threw eight shoes at you?"

ky: nods.

us: "wow. that's a lot of shoes."

ky: "uh huh."

us: "are you sure all of this happened?"

ky: "yes..." (looks a bit nervous)

a bit more quizzing revealed that my dearest daughter had been lying through her teeth about her brother. thank goodness the bf was there with me, because i found the whole exchange to be hysterically funny. i felt like we were laywers. for the prosecution. i could barely contain my giggles. 

seriously.

mc donalds rules the world!

ahh...the glorious happy meal. the 500+ calorie, 25 grams of fat convenience food of which our children are so fond. as american as apple pie and baseball. tonight, i have given in to the lure of the easy meal. my children are sitting at the table right now, eating mcnuggets to their hearts' content. although i doubt their hearts are actually content. they are probably working overtime and pissed as hell.



i have a love-hate relationship with the happy meal. i hate mcdonalds. hate. it. i especially hate their supid commericals. by the time she was two my daughter would sing the little "baa baa baa" ditty every time she caught a glimpse of the golden arches. probably before she could even say mamma. actually, i'm pretty sure it was before she said mamma. and i don't think she had ever even eaten there. 

the marketing machine that is mcdonald's rules the world and most of us don't even know it. we are oblivious. until something like this happens:







* * *







ronald mcdonald. the most recognized figure in america. i rest my case.