9.25.2008

to believe or not to believe...

i had to go and pick my son up from daycare today. they called me in the morning to tell me that he was limping and had leg pain. i knew this, since he started it last night. i knew this, because i just took him to the doctor for the very same thing six weeks ago and it turned out to be NOTHING. i reminded daycare of this and got off the phone.

at 2:00 this afternoon i received an email from daycare, saying my son had woken from his nap and still seemed to be in a lot of pain. they listed out their evidence and i knew i'd have to end up going to get him. i also knew i'd have to take him to the doctor again or risk being called a crappy parent or worse yet, have them scream child abuse.

we waited in the doctors office for over an hour before being seen. the diagnosis? nothing. my son actually giggled when the doc squeezed different parts of his leg to see if it hurt. when he walked down the hallway for her it looked contrived. once again i left the doctor's office feeling annoyed at my child.

the bf and i are arguing over it. he thinks my son is manipulative and should be punished. i do believe my son is quite possibly faking it, but also feel there has to be a meaningful reason why. either his leg really does or has ached, or there is something else bothering him. i got the doc to say that he shouldn't do anything for the rest of the day but lay down. even playing legos would be bad. my son was visably upset at this pronouncement.

when we got home, i made him lay in bed. i let him know i was not happy about the situation. he cried for a few minutes and then fell asleep. i made the decision to miss my daughter's open house at school and her dad took her instead. i didn't want to lug gimpy all over the school. i also decided he would not participate in swimming lessons tonight. i had him go to the daycare room alone while i worked out on the elliptical and ky went to swimming lessons. he cried when we left him and i felt horrible, but i wasn't going to give in. by the time i came to pick him up he was playing happily with another boy, so hopefully i didn't do too much damage.

i really don't know what to think or do. the bf thinks i should be harder on him. we fought on the phone after the doctor's appointment and i hung up on him i was so mad. he called back later and seemed to want to make up, but then proceeded to go off again and said something to the effect of "you've been played by a five year old." so i hung up after uttering some "choice" words.

i am not coddling my son, but i am also not going to be overly mean. what if there really is something wrong? i'm not going to give him special treatment, but i'm not going to yell at him either. it's not my style and i think it does more harm than good. still, it is a frustrating situation and i'm just not sure what is the right thing to do!?!?!?!

2 comments:

Miss Kate said...

I don't think a parent can ever be fully "played"... You know your own children and know in your gut what is a red flag.

Hopefully your son's possible issue will pass, but I'm guessing that whether it is physical or mental, it is still worthy of a mama's coddling.

Being a parent is a really tough job. You're a good mom, Angie.

Angie said...

thanks for the vote of confidence kate, sometimes it's just plain good to hear!

i really am doing the best that i can at this whole parenting thing!