every other weekend

it's not very often that i actually have to watch the kids leave for their weekends with their dad. usually he picks them up directly from school on fridays, which is convenient for me and also avoids emotional responses on my part.

in the early days of our divorce, i had a really hard time dropping the kids off at daycare on his fridays, knowing that i wouldn't be seeing them again until sunday night. they were so little then, just 2 and 4. and i hated the thought of not seeing them for two days.

these days it's gotten a little easier. the kids are 5 and 7, and though of course i love them just as much as ever, and there are times when i am frankly quite READY to have a little break from them. sometimes i swear they are purposely extra bratty as their "dad weekends" approach. like it's their way of making it easier on me.

but, this time around, i've been home with sick little kolby for two days. he is doing better this afternoon, and his dad stopped here to pick him up a few minutes ago for their weekend together. and just as soon as they walked out the door the waterworks began! i am sitting here feeling sad and lonely and already missing my boy. :(

so yeah, the one "perk" of divorce is sometimes the worst part. being without the kids for an entire weekend. i guess i should feel lucky that their dad has no real interest in anything beyond every other weekend. it would kill me not to see them for a week at a time, like some parents do, trading out every other week. because as much as they can be a big pain in my tush, there is no way i could live without them for that long!

*sob*